I need a Muse, a person or figure who will be the source of inspiration. Problem is - I'm not sure how to get one. I've already asked the big man in red, he failed to come through. A search on Amazon did not prove helpful. Google pulls up renderings of Greek and Roman muses as well as other random figures who inspired poets and artists. I have not been able (so far) to summon one of the Greek Muses. Zeus is not responding to my request. Heck, I'd settle for Tinkerbell, if Peter Pan would share.
At this point I am in the middle of 1 minor and 2 major commissions. I know what I want the final pieces to look like. That's not the issue. I have all the colors, canvases, etc. I just can't make myself pick up a brush and paint. I guess everyone is entitled to a "Mental Health Day." I should not beat myself up about it.
However, it would be nice to have that imaginary figure when both my mind and my canvas are blank. You know, the one who smiles upon you and inspires art, imagination, and initiative.
Finally I know what I want to paint. Steadily I start to work on the piece. I am just about finished when I step back. Suddenly I am consumed with fear and self doubt. Does my patron have something else in mind? Do they realize that my work is abstract and not an example of "realism"? Is this as good as the initial piece they referred to as an example? What if they do not like it? What if they are offended? Whatever the case , I have to finish the piece.
I push my fear and self doubt into that box I keep closed in the back corner of my head. I soldier on. When I have completed the task and put down my brush, I stand back and take a look. If only I had a Self Confidence Sprite in my head instead of the dreaded self doubt. But, alas I do not.
Maybe I need to rethink this. In lieu of a Muse, I think need more like a Fairy God Mother.
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